Lecture Topics
| If you are
interested in information about having Barbara speak in your school
district, community, or at your conference, please call
1-800-729-1588 or email us at info@kidsareworthit.com |
TOPICS
A evening packed with solid practical advice for parents of children from toddlers to teenagers, that shows how to utilize the very stuff of family life—chores, mealtime, sibling rivalry, toilet training, bedtime, allowances and more—to create a home environment in which children can become self-disciplined, compassionate, responsible, resourceful, resilient human beings who can act in their own best interest, stand up for themselves and exercise their own rights while respecting the rights and legitimate needs of others. Barbara will discuss the keys to good parenting: treating kids with respect; giving them a sense of positive power in their own lives; giving them opportunities to make decisions, take responsibility for their actions and learn from their successes and mistakes.
Topics
• Positive home climate
• Simple rules to help stop trouble before it starts
• Power struggles—what, how, why and when not to engage
• Six critical life messages
• Discipline and punishment—why one works and the other
only appears to work
• RSVP—reasonable, simple, valuable, practical consequences
• Mistakes, mischief and mayhem
• Three kinds of families—brick wall, jellyfish and backbone
• Keeping your cool without putting your feelings on ice
• Buffering children from sexual promiscuity, drug abuse and
suicide
drawings by Joey Coloroso
Solid practical advice for educators on how to create a school climate in which students can become self-disciplined, compassionate, responsible, resourceful, resilient human beings who can act in their own best interest, stand up for themselves, and exercise their own rights while respecting the rights and legitimate needs of others. Barbara will discuss
the keys to good teaching; treating kids with respect; giving them a sense of positive power in their own lives; giving them opportunities to make decisions, take responsibility for their own actions, and learn from their successes and mistakes.
Topics
• Positive school climate
• Simple rules to help stop trouble before it starts
• Power struggles—what, how, why and when not to engage
• Six critical life messages
• Discipline and punishment—why one works and the other
only appears to work
• RSVP—reasonable, simple, valuable, practical consequences
• Mistakes, mischief and mayhem
• Reconciliatory justice—a productive alternative to
suspension
• Three kinds of schools—brick wall, jellyfish and backbone
• Keeping your cool without putting your feelings on ice
• Buffering children from sexual promiscuity, drug abuse and
suicide
Breaking the cycle of violence in our homes, schools and communities involve more than merely identifying and stopping the bully. It requires that we examine the why and the how a child becomes a bully or the target of a bully (and sometimes both) as well as the role the bystanders play in perpetuating the cycle. A deadly combination is a bully who
gets what he wants from his target, a bullied child who is afraid to tell, bystanders who either watch, participate in the bullying, or look away, and adults who see bullying as teasing, not tormenting, as ‘boys will be boys.’ not the predatory aggression that it is. If this combination of relationships is not radically transformed, we have enough incidences in our recent past to convince us that it is not only the bully who can terrorize our community. Some bullied children, whose cries went unheard, whose pains were ignored, whose oppression went unabated and unrelieved, have struck back with a vengeance and sorrow. Others, who reached what they felt was an utterly hopeless and irretrievable point, have killed themselves. Feeling they had no other way out of the pain and torture heaped on them by their tormentors, no one to turn to, no way to tell, they made a tragic and final exit.
It is easy to point fingers; place blame; fortress our schools; push zero-tolerance plans; mandate a bully awareness week; stiffen penalties for bullying; or simply ignore the problem and hope it will go away. It is more difficult—and necessary—that we as individuals, families, and entire communities create safe harbor for all of our children. We must do what is necessary to take the weapons out of the hearts, minds, and hands of our kids. We need to give kids the tools to be able to stand up for their own rights while respecting the rights and legitimate needs of others; to handle conflicts nonviolently; to act with integrity when confronted with difficult situations such as peer pressure to cause harm; and to develop a personal code (inner moral code) that gives them the wherewithal to do what is right in spite of external consequences and never merely because of them. No easy task; no simple answers.
The Making of a Bully
• A working definition;
• What bullying is not — playful teasing, sibling rivalry,
fighting that involves equals with competing claims;
• Bullying behaviors — physical aggression, shunning, verbal
aggression, intimidation and coercion;
• Where, how often, who does it involve.
The Bullied
• A working definition;
• The short and long term impact of bullying on the target of
the bully;
• When a bullied child becomes a bully.
The Bystander
• A working definition;
• The bystander as sibling, peer or adult and the impact
being a bystander has on escalating the violence;
• The impact on the cycle of violence when a bystander
becomes a peacemaker — empowered to act with courage
and integrity.
Breaking the Cycle of Violence and Creating Circles of Caring
Home
1. How three kinds of families help create bullies, targets of bullies, and bystanders, or children who are responsible, resourceful, resilient, compassionate human beings, who can act in their own best interest, stand up for themselves, and
exercise their own rights while respecting the rights and legitimate needs of others, stand against injustices, act with integrity, resist provocation, and resolve conflicts peacefully;
2. What to do if your child bullies;
3. What to do if your child is a victim of a bully;
4. Helping children develop a personal code [inner moral
code] integrating knowing, feeling, and acting;
5. Teaching children to be able to discern the differences
between telling and tattling;
6. Teaching children to ‘own their anger’ [no one can ‘make’
them angry], and develop inner tools to resist provocation;
7. Teaching nonviolent conflict resolution — resolving conflict
rather than escalating it or burying it.
School
1. Teaching the fourth R: relationships;
2. Creating a school climate in which all kids believe they have worth, are capable
human beings, are expected to serve and can resolve conflicts nonviolently;
3. Creating ‘esprit de corps’ — the spirit of devotion and enthusiasm among
members of a group for one another, their group, and their purpose;
4. Going beyond values clarification and/or moral reasoning to teach character
education — the head/heart/gut connection;
5. Using the arts as significant tools to teach character, ethics, and moral reasoning.
[If we don’t, the entertainment industry will — and the character, ethics and
moral reasoning it teaches might well cause more damage than good. ‘Instead
of passionate attachment to what is good, noble and just, youth develop
passionate attachments to their own needs, wants, and feelings.’]
a. Creating a community of purpose
b. Censorship by omission;
6. Why zero tolerance is zero thinking — and a constructive alternative: mistakes,
mischief, and mayhem in proper perspective to causes, conditions, and
consequences.
Communities
1. Comprehensive, multi-institutional, community-wide solutions that address the
violent behavior of young people, while redressing the social conditions in which
the violence flourishes;
2. Anger management programs that work and those that don’t;
3. Reconciliatory justice on a community-wide scale as an alternative to punishment
and vengeance;
4. The power of forgiveness. If creating more caring, more compassionate, less alienating, less violent communities is a goal, we must give up our desire for swift revenge and retribution, stronger punishments and stiffer sentences. When the main goal is to make children ‘pay dearly’ for what they have done and serve as examples for others who might think of doing the same, hate and bitterness find rich soil in which to grow. How bullies are treated will influence what kind of people they will grow up to be and what kind of lives the rest of us will live. If we don’t help them reconcile with the community, we could well condemn ourselves to a lifetime of fear, distrust, and mayhem. When an entire community is committed to reconciliatory justice, the young offenders are invited to rise above their misdeeds and violent acts. The goal is to mend and restore rather than isolate and punish. The search is not for vengeance but for ways to heal people and heal relationships.
• A working definition;
• What bullying is not — playful teasing, sibling rivalry,
fighting that involves equals with competing claims;
• Bullying behaviors — physical aggression, shunning, verbal
aggression, intimidation and coercion;
• Where, how often, who does it involve.
The Bullied
• A working definition;
• The short and long term impact of bullying on the target of
the bully;
• When a bullied child becomes a bully.
The Bystander
• A working definition;
• The bystander as sibling, peer or adult and the impact
being a bystander has on escalating the violence;
• The impact on the cycle of violence when a bystander
becomes a peacemaker — empowered to act with courage
and integrity.
Breaking the Cycle of Violence and Creating Circles of Caring
Home
1. How three kinds of families help create bullies, targets of bullies, and bystanders, or children who are responsible, resourceful, resilient, compassionate human beings, who can act in their own best interest, stand up for themselves, and
exercise their own rights while respecting the rights and legitimate needs of others, stand against injustices, act with integrity, resist provocation, and resolve conflicts peacefully;
2. What to do if your child bullies;
3. What to do if your child is a victim of a bully;
4. Helping children develop a personal code [inner moral
code] integrating knowing, feeling, and acting;
5. Teaching children to be able to discern the differences
between telling and tattling;
6. Teaching children to ‘own their anger’ [no one can ‘make’
them angry], and develop inner tools to resist provocation;
7. Teaching nonviolent conflict resolution — resolving conflict
rather than escalating it or burying it.
School
1. Teaching the fourth R: relationships;
2. Creating a school climate in which all kids believe they have worth, are capable
human beings, are expected to serve and can resolve conflicts nonviolently;
3. Creating ‘esprit de corps’ — the spirit of devotion and enthusiasm among
members of a group for one another, their group, and their purpose;
4. Going beyond values clarification and/or moral reasoning to teach character
education — the head/heart/gut connection;
5. Using the arts as significant tools to teach character, ethics, and moral reasoning.
[If we don’t, the entertainment industry will — and the character, ethics and
moral reasoning it teaches might well cause more damage than good. ‘Instead
of passionate attachment to what is good, noble and just, youth develop
passionate attachments to their own needs, wants, and feelings.’]
a. Creating a community of purpose
b. Censorship by omission;
6. Why zero tolerance is zero thinking — and a constructive alternative: mistakes,
mischief, and mayhem in proper perspective to causes, conditions, and
consequences.
Communities
1. Comprehensive, multi-institutional, community-wide solutions that address the
violent behavior of young people, while redressing the social conditions in which
the violence flourishes;
2. Anger management programs that work and those that don’t;
3. Reconciliatory justice on a community-wide scale as an alternative to punishment
and vengeance;
4. The power of forgiveness. If creating more caring, more compassionate, less alienating, less violent communities is a goal, we must give up our desire for swift revenge and retribution, stronger punishments and stiffer sentences. When the main goal is to make children ‘pay dearly’ for what they have done and serve as examples for others who might think of doing the same, hate and bitterness find rich soil in which to grow. How bullies are treated will influence what kind of people they will grow up to be and what kind of lives the rest of us will live. If we don’t help them reconcile with the community, we could well condemn ourselves to a lifetime of fear, distrust, and mayhem. When an entire community is committed to reconciliatory justice, the young offenders are invited to rise above their misdeeds and violent acts. The goal is to mend and restore rather than isolate and punish. The search is not for vengeance but for ways to heal people and heal relationships.
Parenting through Crisis takes us further on the journey of integration, healing, and connection begun in Parenting with Wit and Wisdom.
A workshop packed with solid practical advice on how to use the stuff of everyday life to teach children to act with integrity, civility, and compassion. Beginning with the idea that it is in us to care, that we are born with an innate capacity for compassion, Barbara Coloroso shows professionals, educators, and parents how to nurture and guide children’s ethical lives from toddlerhood through the teen years using everyday situations at home, at school, in social settings, and in the world at large.
• How to develop an ethic rooted in deep caring with principles, virtues, and
values that are in the
service to and at the service of that caring
• The why and how to teach our children to think and act ethically
• The possibilities and pitfalls of character education programs
• Nurturing in children the three antidotes (care deeply, share generously, help
willingly) to the virulent agents that are ripping apart the fabric of our human
relationships (hating, hoarding, and harming ourselves and others)
• How rigid moral absolutism and shifting moral relativism interfere with raising
ethical human beings
• Media: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly, and the Indifferent—how we can help
children use these tools and not be used or consumed by them.
• The difference between punishment and discipline—why one works and the
other only appears to
The story about our human nature in today’s social and cultural climate is part and parcel of our human nature and our social and cultural climate. Our story is also guided by our compassion and loving kindness, which recognizes that there is no I without Thou, no We without Community and no way to survive without honoring both our unique individuality and our common humanity.
Through an examination of three clearly defined genocides — the Armenian and Rwandan genocides, and the European Holocaust — Barbara Coloroso deconstructs the causes and consequences, both to its immediate victims and to the fabric of the world at large, and proposes the conditions that must exist in order to eradicate this evil from the world.
Based on the Barbara Coloroso's 30 years of ongoing research and travel, her theories on bullying are here exposed as having a terrifying link to the unspeakable crime of genocide. By linking the psychology of the bully to the motivation that leads a community to murder, Coloroso provides devastating and vital insight into why people kill their neighbors.
By exploring the words and actions of those who not only did not succumb to the intoxicating madness around them but railed against it, and by studying conditions under which ordinary people commit extraordinary evil and attempting to comprehend that evil, it is possible to create conditions in our communities and in the world that will strengthen inhibitions against such violence and nurture those bonds that connect us, one to another.
In this lecture, best-selling author Barbara Coloroso, whose work on bullying has brought her international recognition, turns her attention to genocide: what it means, where it begins, and where it must end.
If you would like more information about Barbara speaking in your community, please call our office 1-800-729-1588 or email us
at info@kidsareworthit.com
 |
kids are worth it! inc. PO Box 621108 Littleton, Co 80162 info@kidsareworthit.com 800-729-1588 303-972-3244 303-972-1204 Fax |
|
