Bullies are using high tech tools to threaten, stalk, ridicule, humiliate, taunt, and spread rumors about their targets.  The characteristics of bullying—imbalance of power, the intent to harm, the threat of further aggression, and the creation of terror—are magnified with the user of electronic technologies.

 Bullies are:
1.     emboldened by apparent anonymity afforded them in cyberspace
2.     removed from the immediate reaction of the target,
3.     far too often not held accountable for their actions.

Faceless and nameless electronic transmissions make it easy for bullies to torment their targets anywhere and at anytime, with apparent anonymity, distributing of irretrievable messages worldwide. Even though most cyberbullying occurs outside of school, it negatively impacts students and the school environment.  It has already led to violence—including murder and bullicide—in schools throughout the world.

The Cyberbullying workshop includes:
•  Cyberbullying:  What it is and what it isn’t
•  Ways and Means of cyberbullying
•  Stop, Copy, Block and Tell:  helping kids protect themselves
•  Decoding the code
•  The consequences of cyberbullying on the three characters in this tragedy
•  Out of sight—not out of mind:  the impact on the school and community environment
•  The legal, social, and psychological ramifications of cyberbullying
•  Media:  the good, the bad, the ugly, and the indifferent
•  Links to online resources
•  The Three P’s:  policies, procedures, and programsType your paragraph here.

Breaking the cycle of violence in our homes, schools and communities involve more than merely identifying and stopping the bully. It requires that we examine the why and the how a child becomes a bully or the target of a bully (and sometimes both) as well as the role the bystanders play in perpetuating the cycle. A deadly combination is a bully who gets what he wants from his target, a bullied child who is afraid to tell, bystanders who either watch, participate in the bullying, or look away, and adults who see bullying as teasing, not tormenting, as ‘boys will be boys.’ not the predatory aggression that it is. If this combination of relationships is not radically transformed, we have enough incidences in our recent past to convince us that it is not only the bully who can terrorize our community. Some bullied children, whose cries went unheard, whose pains were ignored, whose oppression went unabated and unrelieved, have struck back with a vengeance and sorrow. Others, who reached what they felt was an utterly hopeless and irretrievable point, have killed themselves. Feeling they had no other way out of the pain and torture heaped on them by their tormentors, no one to turn to, no way to tell, they made a tragic and final exit. 
It is easy to point fingers; place blame; fortress our schools; push zero-tolerance plans; mandate a bully awareness week; stiffen penalties for bullying; or simply ignore the problem and hope it will go away. It is more difficult—and necessary—that we as individuals, families, and entire communities create safe harbor for all of our children. We must do what is necessary to take the weapons out of the hearts, minds, and hands of our kids. We need to give kids the tools to be able to stand up for their own rights while respecting the rights and legitimate needs of others; to handle conflicts nonviolently; to act with integrity when confronted with difficult situations such as peer pressure to cause harm; and to develop a personal code (inner moral code) that gives them the wherewithal to do what is right in spite of external consequences and never merely because of them. No easy task; no simple answers.

The Making of a Bully
• A working definition;
• What bullying is not — playful teasing, sibling rivalry, 
   fighting that involves equals with competing claims;
• Bullying behaviors — physical aggression, shunning, verbal 
   aggression, intimidation and coercion;
• Where, how often, who does it involve.
The Bullied
• A working definition;
• The short and long term impact of bullying on the target of 
   the bully;
• When a bullied child becomes a bully.
The Bystander
• A working definition;
• The bystander as sibling, peer or adult and the impact 
   being a bystander has on escalating the violence;
• The impact on the cycle of violence when a bystander 
   becomes a peacemaker — empowered to act with courage 
   and integrity.
Breaking the Cycle of Violence and Creating Circles of Caring
Home
1. How three kinds of families help create bullies, targets of bullies, and 
   bystanders, or children who are responsible, resourceful, resilient, compassionate 
   human beings, who can act in their own best interest, stand up for themselves, 
   and exercise their own rights while respecting the rights and legitimate needs of 
   others, stand against injustices, act with integrity, resist provocation, and resolve 
   conflicts peacefully;
2. What to do if your child bullies;
3. What to do if your child is a victim of a bully;
4. Helping children develop a personal code [inner moral 
    code] integrating knowing, feeling, and acting;
5. Teaching children to be able to discern the differences 
    between telling and tattling;
6. Teaching children to ‘own their anger’ [no one can ‘make’ 
    them angry], and develop inner tools to resist provocation;
7. Teaching nonviolent conflict resolution — resolving conflict 
    rather than escalating it or burying it.

School
1. Teaching the fourth R: relationships;
2. Creating a school climate in which all kids believe they have worth, are capable 
    human beings, are expected to serve and can resolve conflicts nonviolently;
3. Creating ‘esprit de corps’ — the spirit of devotion and enthusiasm among 
    members of a group for one another, their group, and their purpose;
4. Going beyond values clarification and/or moral reasoning to teach character 
    education — the head/heart/gut connection;
5. Using the arts as significant tools to teach character, ethics, and moral reasoning. 
    [If we don’t, the entertainment industry will — and the character, ethics and 
    moral reasoning it teaches might well cause more damage than good. ‘Instead
    of passionate attachment to what is good, noble and just, youth develop 
    passionate attachments to their own needs, wants, and feelings.’]
      a. Creating a community of purpose
      b. Censorship by omission;
6. Why zero tolerance is zero thinking — and a constructive alternative: mistakes, 
    mischief, and mayhem in proper perspective to causes, conditions, and  
    consequences.

Communities
1. Comprehensive, multi-institutional, community-wide solutions that address the 
    violent behavior of young people, while redressing the social conditions in which 
    the violence flourishes;
2. Anger management programs that work and those that don’t;
3. Reconciliatory justice on a community-wide scale as an alternative to punishment 
    and vengeance;
4. The power of forgiveness. If creating more caring, more compassionate, less 
    alienating, less violent communities is a goal, we must give up our desire for 
    swift revenge and retribution, stronger punishments and stiffer sentences. When 
    the main goal is to make children ‘pay dearly’ for what they have done and serve 
    as examples for others who might think of doing the same, hate and bitterness 
    find rich soil in which to grow. How bullies are treated will influence what kind of 
    people they will grow up to be and what kind of lives the rest of us will live. If  
    we don’t help them reconcile with the community, we could well condemn 
    ourselves to a lifetime of fear, distrust, and mayhem. When an entire community 
    is committed to reconciliatory justice, the young offenders are invited to rise 
    above their misdeeds and violent acts. The goal is to mend and restore rather 
    than isolate and punish. The search is not for vengeance but for ways to heal 
    people and heal relationships.

​

Cyberbullying: the Bully, the Bullied and the Bystander  Breaking the Cycle of violence in the net neighborhood

Just because it's not wrong, doesn't make it right teaching kids to think and act ethically 

The bully, the bullied, and the not-so-innocent bystander

kids are worth it! 
Teaching with Wit & Wisdom

 A workshop packed with solid practical advice on how to use the stuff of everyday life to teach children to act with integrity, civility, and compassion. Beginning with the idea that it is in us to care, that we are born with an innate capacity for compassion, Barbara Coloroso shows professionals, educators, and parents how to nurture and guide children’s ethical lives from toddlerhood through the teen years using everyday situations at home, at school, in social settings, and in the world at large.  
•  How to develop an ethic rooted in deep caring with principles, virtues, and     
    values that are in the
    service to and at the service of that caring
•  The why and how to teach our children to think and act ethically
•  The possibilities and pitfalls of character education programs
•  Nurturing in children the three antidotes (care deeply, share generously, help 
    willingly) to the virulent agents that are ripping apart the fabric of our human 
    relationships (hating, hoarding, and harming ourselves and others)
•  How rigid moral absolutism and shifting moral relativism interfere with raising 
    ethical human beings
•  Media:  The Good, the Bad, the Ugly, and the Indifferent—how we can help 
    children use these tools and not be used or consumed by them.
•  The difference between punishment and discipline—why one works and the 
    other only appears to

 The story about our human nature in today’s social and cultural climate is part and parcel of our human nature and our social and cultural climate.  Our story is also guided by our compassion and loving kindness, which recognizes that there is no I without Thou, no We without Community and no way to survive without honoring both our unique individuality and our common humanity. 

kids are worth it! 
Parenting with Wit & Wisdom​

Parenting through Crisis: Helping Kids in Times of Loss, Grief and Change is about handling tough times and tough issues.  Whether it be a small crisis or a major disaster, a minor malady or a life changing event, bullying in hallways or terror int he streets, this session looks at how we as parents can use our wit and wisdom to nurture and enrich ourselves and our children as we navigate through the minor and major chaos in our lives
Parenting through Crisis takes us further on the journey of integration, healing, and connection begun in Parenting with Wit and Wisdom.Type your paragraph here.

A evening packed with solid practical advice for parents of children from toddlers to teenagers, that shows how to utilize the very stuff of family life—chores, mealtime, sibling rivalry, toilet training, bedtime, allowances and more—to create a home environment in which children can become self-disciplined, compassionate, responsible, resourceful, resilient human beings who can act in their own best interest, stand up for themselves and exercise their own rights while respecting the rights and legitimate needs of others. Barbara will discuss the keys to good parenting: treating kids with respect; giving them a sense of positive power in their own lives; giving them opportunities to make decisions, take responsibility for their actions and learn from their successes and mistakes.

Topics
• Positive home climate
• Simple rules to help stop trouble before it starts
• Power struggles—what, how, why and when not to engage
• Six critical life messages
• Discipline and punishment—why one works and the other 
   only appears to work
• RSVP—reasonable, simple, valuable, practical consequences
• Mistakes, mischief and mayhem
• Three kinds of families—brick wall, jellyfish and backbone
• Keeping your cool without putting your feelings on ice
• Buffering children from sexual promiscuity, drug abuse and 
   suicideType your paragraph here.

Through an examination of three clearly defined genocides — the Armenian and Rwandan genocides, and the European Holocaust — Barbara Coloroso deconstructs the causes and consequences, both to its immediate victims and to the fabric of the world at large, and proposes the conditions that must exist in order to eradicate this evil from the world.

Based on the Barbara Coloroso's 30 years of ongoing research and travel, her theories on bullying are here exposed as having a terrifying link to the unspeakable crime of genocide. By linking the psychology of the bully to the motivation that leads a community to murder, Coloroso provides devastating and vital insight into why people kill their neighbors.

By exploring the words and actions of those who not only did not succumb to the intoxicating madness around them but railed against it, and by studying conditions under which ordinary people commit extraordinary evil and attempting to comprehend that evil, it is possible to create conditions in our communities and in the world that will strengthen inhibitions against such violence and nurture those bonds that connect us, one to another.

In this lecture, best-selling author Barbara Coloroso, whose work on bullying has brought her international recognition, turns her attention to genocide: what it means, where it begins, and where it must end.

Parenting Through Crisis

Extraordinary Evil: A Short Walk to Genocide

Solid practical advice for educators on how to create a school climate in which students can become self-disciplined, compassionate, responsible, resourceful, resilient human beings who can act in their own best interest, stand up for themselves, and exercise their own rights while respecting the rights and legitimate needs of others. Barbara will discuss
the keys to good teaching; treating kids with respect; giving them a sense of positive power in their own lives; giving them opportunities to make decisions, take responsibility for their own actions, and learn from their successes and mistakes.

Topics
• Positive school climate
• Simple rules to help stop trouble before it starts
• Power struggles—what, how, why and when not to engage
• Six critical life messages
• Discipline and punishment—why one works and the other 
   only appears to work
• RSVP—reasonable, simple, valuable, practical consequences
• Mistakes, mischief and mayhem
• Reconciliatory justice—a productive alternative to  
   suspension
• Three kinds of schools—brick wall, jellyfish and backbone
• Keeping your cool without putting your feelings on ice
• Buffering children from sexual promiscuity, drug abuse and 
   suicideType your paragraph here.